I am really not a huge youtube fan because I’ve found that you can waste an entire day sitting in your jammers and retainer watching people make huge fools out of themselves. However, my friend’s sister emailed my friends and I this one clip and since then I have watched it over and over and showed it to almost everyone I know. Please watch it and be sure to note the size of the baby’s head. My mom left me a message trying to impersonate the kids in it and that’s when I knew this was the last youtube video that I pass on.. When a 50 year old woman mimics a 2 year old enligsh kid’s voice it’s a clear indication that things have gotten out of control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM Yesterday my friends and I went to the Bears game and it was fab. Her dad has season tickets with awesome seats on the 50 yard line. We had so much fun. Mr. Sullivan (I decided to call him Tricksy because his name is Patrick ((he loved it)) is friends with the grass guy who is in charge of re-sodding the field after every game so we actually got to stand on Soldier Field after. I was mad that we missed the first few minutes of the game because they did a tribute to Sean Taylor. I have been in mourning for him since he died and wish I was back in DC where people miss him and find his murder a tragedy but instead all I keep hearing about is how much of a criminal he was and how his being killed was imminent. When I go to Redskins games at home I never sit in a suite/box but we did yesterday and I never realized how drunk old people get. People my grandparents age were going buckwild at the bar at 3 pm. One really attractive 580 lb bald man told me he would love to drink out of my boot. Bear Down.
I havent tumbled in nearly 30 days. I’m waiting for divine intervention to finish my paper for this class. I’m staring into the lights of the tacky Christmas tree in my room and waiting for God to write the conclusion for me. The tree I have made its journey from DC to Chicago in my suitcase. I probably looked like a homeless person with all of the bags that I had coming back on the L from Midway but having this little sparkling plastic tree in my room is well worth it. I brought home all of my bathing suits and sandals and returned with long underwear, sweaters, and delicious gourmet hot chocolate. I’m coping with the cold better than I thought I would but feel free to ask me again how I feel circa February. I am a Christmas nut and am anxiously waiting for santa. I started constructing my Christmas list around August and Carols started playing on my ipod the day after Halloween. Right now Frank Sinatra is making me feel jolly with his Christmas album. A few of my other favorites are Andy Williams, Charlie Brown Christmas, Celine Dion, and more recently, Josh Groban’s. I hate Josh Groban and was given the cd as a joke but now we’re practically dating because he sings me to sleep with o holy night on a regular basis.
I’ve been trying to go to the gym at least once a day to avoid gaining the freshman 15. Yesterday I had every intention to go twice but laziness got the best of me. Two of my friends and I decided to go for a walk around the track despite the 40 degree temp. We dressed up like the Jamaican bobsled team (long spandex, turtlenecks, hoodies) and did lunges and grapevines around the track until we froze. We decided to go to the gym for a little to thaw out and rented a few basketballs to play knockout/horse with but there were no open courts when we got there. There were two guys and a girl looking to play 3 on 3 and we joined. I haven’t touched a basketball since 8
th grade. Not to brag, but I was the CYO champ for my school and had a pretty sweet bank shot. I have been the same height since 5
th grade and used to be about 30 lbs. heavier and once I heard the coach from the other team yell “double team the big girl!” I was the big girl. Anyways I thought I would suck and embarrass myself in front of these strangers and I was right. I had a few lucky shots but otherwise I looked like a fool. It was really funny though because the guy on my team was identical to the guy from Knocked Up (jew fro and all) and he gave me high fives even when the girl I was guarding scored. I probably contracted pneumonia last night because when we walked back we were all soaked with sweat. However we did see a 45 second snow flurry so I’m glad I didn’t stay in and watch tv.
I’m one of the lucky people who get mail almost three times a week. My grandmother thinks it’s very important that I know she’s thinking of me so she sends me a card pretty much every other day. My mom has sent me a few care packages with things I forgot at home and pictures of my dog and of course SNACKS. This week she sent me a shoebox full of homemade rice krispie treats. I walked to the mailroom with one of my friends from my floor and we ran into another of my good friends who live in Regis. They came back to my room and we sat around and laughed and gossiped and had a spontaneous dance party. By the end of the evening the entire box was gone. These girls are just like my friends from home…we eat like champs. None of my friends are overweight, but we consume more than donkeys. It is not uncommon that an entire block of cheddar cheese will disappear as we slice off portions while sitting at the island in my kitchen. Ice cream cake? No problem. A 13x9 tray of seven layer dip? Dunzo. I appreciate everyone who has a passion for food.
Seeing Kathy Griffin at the Chicago Theater on Saturday was one of the highlights of my life. Apparently I missed the memo regarding extreme intoxication. Everyone there was belligerent. I think Bravo decided to tape the later showing because that way everyone had an extra two and a half hours to drink. There were several people sitting in box seats who were slumped over and others who were swaying and slurring and trying to focus their glazed over eyes. I witnessed a woman get kicked out because she kept yelling and standing up every 5 minutes. There was also a seven foot tall drag queen present who donned a white beehive wig. How fab. It was quite an experience and I’m forcing everyone I know to watch the tv special with their eyes peeled for my face.
So I was at the library on Tuesday studying for my bio exam on Wednesday and circa 12:30 was feeling drowsy so I went to dunkin donuts ( or dunkies- that’s what we affectionately call it in DC). As I crossed the street with my 5905910292 calorie frozen delight, I was approached by 3 very guido looking teen boys with spiked hair, tweezed eyebrows and button down shirts with popped collars and 3 buttons undone. They asked me if I knew of any places to “party” in this neighborhood. I was sporting my nerd goggles, unbrushed hair, baggy sweatpants and my favorite flops. I said, “does it look like I’m partying tonight?” They rolled their eyes and kept walking, and I returned to genetic mutation, mutagens, and combined immunodeficiency.
I had a horrible, horrible week. Back to back exams and a paper are not my idea of a good time. My roommate had a fabulous time while I was suffering- I spent 75% of my time at the library so she got to video chat with her boyfriend for 20 hours a day. My only consolation is that I am going to see Kathy Griffin at the Chicago theater on Saturday. I LOVE her. I think she is the funniest woman on the planet AND the show is being taped for Bravo so I might get to be one of the laughing people in the audience making a really ugly face/ snorting/ looking like they are about to pee their pants.
Living in Washington DC has its perks but it also comes with a lot of drawbacks. Its nice saying that you live in the capital of the free world, and school shuts down when there is less than one inch of snow. The shopping and dining are great, and I get my hair cut at the same place as Condi Rice. It’s not uncommon to see politicians and visiting actors at Café Milano, and once I saw Bill Clinton jogging with 2 bodyguards. It all comes with a price though- the traffic is unpleasant, the terror alerts change daily and protesters are always encroaching on our turf. I was soooo happy to be home in DC this past weekend for fall break because……………DAVID SEDARIS WAS VISITING. My dad surprised me with tickets to see him Saturday night at George Washington University. My lovely father paid some ungodly price at the last minute for really good seats and I am eternally indebted to him. I knew there would be a book signing so I brought
holidays on ice, one of my favorite books. I stood in line for 45 minutes and got the chance to talk to my literary idol. I wasn’t sure what to say to him so I told him that I read
naked several times last summer in Italy. He inscribed my book : To Erin, Camporella!. I won’t go into detail about what this means because it is semi inappropriate. My pal Dave is funnier in person than in his books, and I thought that was impossible. The lecture was very entertaining- he read an article that was published a few years ago in the New Yorker and one that will be published there next month. He also tested out some new material for an upcoming book and was editing as he read it out loud to us. The woman sitting next to me was an even bigger fanatic than I am- she talked to me before the show started about how she’s seen him 8 times and is in the process of working with a tattoo artist to get his face on her arm…what a creepster. There were other really eccentric people there- a random sampling of DC’s finest (myself included).
I’ve always been a huge fan of the cat nap, but since coming to college I think I’ve spent more time in bed than ever before. Yesterday I woke up with a migraine and after taking a double dose of imitrex I laid in bed for 6 hours and watched father of the bride parts one AND two. I forced myself to go to the gym this morning thinking it would energize me but my jersey sheets and paisley comforter are SCREAMING at me to climb in and watch top chef until 10. Do I have homework? Yes. Will I do it tonight? Probably not. Looks like I’ll be cramming tomorrow….typical.
David Sedaris’ books are my literary soul mates. I try to limit myself to reading his treats indoors because if I don’t, I often find myself cackling like a hyena in the cafeteria or snorting like Steve Urkel at the gym. Last summer my mom and I visited family friends in Italy for 3 weeks and I thought I was wise to bring about 8 books from the library along to keep me busy. After making the drive to the Dolomites and hiking there for a week my reading supply had been exhausted. I re-read a book of short stories I brought twice. Upon returning to Florence we stopped at a bookstore and encountered probably the smallest English language section in all of Italy. Mary Higgins Clark, Steven King, and bizarre creepy erotic/ sci-fi books lined the shelves. Then I spotted a familiar pair of white boxer shorts displayed against an orange backdrop. It was David Sedaris’
Naked, one of my favorites. I felt home.
